Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize