People in love make me want to vomit
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
