Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
