Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
