dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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