i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
