You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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