I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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