I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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