singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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