I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize