I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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