I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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