is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize