I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
