rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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