I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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