Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
