he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
