Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
