READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
