Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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