my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
