I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
