your room smells of hookers.
And success
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
