i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How naked do you want me to be?
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