I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
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