Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
