so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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