Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
