I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That accounts for only three of the penises
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
