Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
the raccoons are back...
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