so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
