Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
