Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Everyone says I win the strip club
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
