we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize