problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
