is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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