Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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