READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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