Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
