You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
