just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
