also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
