Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
