just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
