so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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