She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
