Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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