I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
