Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
