i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
