these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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