I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
